My Sweet Little Niece

She is probably the best thing that has happened to me in the last four months..When I took her in my arms and the way she held my fingers in her hand, I got a feeling that there is someone who needs me..she might not recognize me, but she does recognize my love for her..and that’s enough actually

she is just 4 months old but behaves pretty mature for her age..no fussy nature..she just needs her milk and an occasional ride in someone’s arms and she will be happy..very friendly too, i must admit..i became such a big fan of hers when she looked at me and smiled..she is the cutest thing in the world..

I promise you Advita that I will always take care of you..I will forever love u..I know the mamas of the world like Kans and Shakuni have not been very famous figures in the folklore, but I will always love u

Good day

Should i be happy or sad?? It was a nice day for me professionally speaking. Got an investment-banking offer from a global bank. I know many would’ve given up a lot of things to be at a place where I am today. But believe me guys, its all hollow without love. You want to be happy but just can’t be because you can’t share the news with the one person you though you loved.

But, on the upside. I could have been doing worse in my life. So, I guess I deserve some credit for holding myself together to the extent I did.

Well yes..I found a song that describes EXACTLY what I am going through..Black was just a part of my feelings..this songs expresses my feelings in its entirety..

the only reason this post doesn’t have a title is that I couldn’t find an appropriate one

Black..

I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life,

I know you’ll be a sun in somebody else’s sky, but why

Why, why can’t it be, can’t it be mine

- Black by Pearl Jam

My life and cricket

Its an arduous task to lift yourself everyday especially given that there is really not much exciting to look forward to at any point in the day. Three classes with arbit case discussions which hardly do enough to spark my interest, tasteless lunch, surprise quiz sprinkled every now and then, pre-placement talk followed by jumping from haphazard preparation for summer internship to preparation for a case which looks all irrelevant to me. Repeat the process 7 times and you will have what I call a week. Hardly inspiring, eh?

I need something exciting in my life. As of today, I have no interests and even lesser time to develop and follow one. I like cricket – watching, reading, playing (which I hardly ever get to do). It is amazing to realize that cricket has been the best girlfriend that I have ever had and will ever have. It is always there to cheer me up, it expects nothing from me, it does not get angry with me even if I don’t see it for days and it brings out so many emotions in me. In my previous relationship, there were quite a few times that I chose cricket over my girlfriend. I regret that – seriously. I should have chosen cricket each and every time over her.

After all, she din’t realize that I loved her and left me because I could not be something she wanted me to be, even though I tried my best to convince her that I could make certain changes for the sake of ‘our’ happiness. As for cricket, come what may, the game has never stopped loving me and neither have I.

Life has Come a Long Way

Its sad that in this moment of despair when I was looking at my phone book and was contemplating whom to call, I couldn’t decide on even a single name. Finally, I turned to my blog – something which I haven’t touched in a long time. It was actually funny reading my last post which I had written when I couldn’t get into IIMK. Yeah I was sad about not making it to IIMK. That wasn’t surely the lowest moment of my life. Still I had a very strong support system to bail me out. I had my sister, my mom and Mahima who gave me such good support.

How times have changed. I am sitting in my room at IIMA and wondering how life took such a turn. I absolutely have no one to turn to. Sister’s happy with her new born baby, mom’s busy too with the newest member of the family and Mahima, well, she is not in my life anymore. Well, that explains the sadness.

No words can express how much I wanted to be with her. No emotions can explain how I felt about having her in my life. Having lost her love, I understand how important she was to me. Not that I didn’t realize that when she was with me. Its just that now the realization comes with a sting – a sting that hurts.

I feel let down. By a lot of people. The most by Mahima herself. She was the only person on earth apart from my family whom I trusted. And it was after a really long period in my life that I had started trusting anyone. Only for it to be demolished yet again. I still can’t believe that the relationship has ended. I thought I made some nice friends during my three years in Bangalore. But somehow, I can’t help but doubt those relationships. Perhaps, it was me who couldn’t strengthen it enough to be called a friendship. Perhaps I let them down at some point in my life. Perhaps, I am at an age where true friendships can’t be forged or perhaps I am that sort of a person who can’t really have a friend. How else can I explain the phonebook problem.

On failures in Life

It has been a long wait. I gave the IIMK interview on the 5th of April. I had a good feeling coming out of the interview room. I said to myself, “boy, have I nailed this interview!!”. There was a spring in my step since then. I gave myself a break from life. All my plans were made believing that I would certainly get a call from IIMK. My job, shifting home, saving money – I approached everything thinking that I would get into IIMK. Even the point of joining IIMK was being debated between me and my friends and I was hell bent on joining it as I had good enough reasons for doing so.

But life has its own ways and sometimes its brings you down to your knees. On 6th May, when I was checking my results in a cyber cafe since the net at my place was not working, I was thinking to myself of the fun I would have later that evening. Life’s plan was wee-bit different than mine. I was bombed with the message, “Sorry, your name does not appear on the list.” I said to my name, “Yeah, right a**hole. How can it not appear?” and I checked again. I realised that my name would not appear on the list even if I re-entered my details hundreds of times. My mind went blank. I could not believe what I was seeing. Thereon, it was a long bike-ride back to my home. It was one of those things which you see in a dream and you wake up to make sure this was just a dream. Alas, in my case I was helpless. It was indeed the truth. What the hell can you do with the truth than face it and live with it.

It was hard for me to digest that I had failed 5 times in IIM interviews. People long for one chance and when they get that, they cash upon it. I have wasted 5 chances!! This means that 11 people who are shaping the smartest minds in India do not think that I am good enough to be in the IIMs. Is this dream going to be just a dream? What do I need to do to get into the IIMs? or What else do I need to do to get into the IIMs?

It would be interesting to see how I cope up with this failure? I want to put a smiling face and appear cool but deep down I know I am not at all cool. I am so pissed off with myself at the moment. Another year of preparation. Another year of practice, mock tests, GDs, PIs, essays, those why MBA questions, those why not continue with your job questions, that eternal search for an answer that would convince people. Its tough man. Its getting really tough for me now.

Whatever happens, I am not blaming God for my failure this time. People end up blaming God everytime they fail. But its important to look inside you and then beyond. Blaming and ruing will not help, it never does. Surely, I have not lost hope yet. I still think that I am capable of doing this and will give it another shot. I know what my weakness is and I shall try to mitigate it. Preparation is all I can do and this is what I shall do. Nothing more and nothing less.

Looking back, perhaps me not getting into IIMK could be a blessing in disguise. I could end up joining A, B, C or may even go abroad. Here’s hoping that next time, it surely works out.

Selectors, take a bow

The just concluded test match between India and South Africa was a far cry from being what was touted the World Championship of Cricket. Looking at the way India were thrashed by the Proteas at Nagpur, it hardly resembled a contest between the top two teams in Test Cricket today.

Who’s to blame? The players themselves, perhaps for they put in a spineless performance. But the selectors are the real culprits. Four seamers in the squad at a time when they were short of three middle order batsmen..no specialist reserve batsman in the team..and saha!!..what were they thinking. Where were the likes of Kohli, Raina, Karthik?? To be a li’l less harsh on the selectors they had Rohit Sharma in the squad but that merely underlines their dumbness in the first place when they had selected four seamers when actually two would have been enough. Also, a reserve wicket-keeper is only chosen when the teams tours abroad as its difficult to fly in a wicket-keeper if the main one injures himself.

Prudence would have called for filling in the gaps which clearly was the lack of strength in the middle order. What the selectors did was further widening the gap. So, when the likes of Gambhir, Sehwag and Tendulkar came out with a deficit of 558 to erase, they knew if they were gone, there was no one whom India could bank upon. Hence, the added pressure. Though pressure brings out the best in a batsman, excess of it is demoralising as we had witnessed. Their approach surely became over-cautious which ultimately led to their downfall.

Years of hard work which went into creating a world beating test team was undone by some men who for some strange reason decided to put aside their wisdom in selecting the team. They have definitely done some good work in the past but the treatment of Rahul Dravid’s ODI career and the current insanity is sure to put a blot on their resumes.

So selectors, take a bow as a whole nation is ready to kick your rear.

The warmth of Love

Gokarna

Vacations are meant to be fun and relaxing sans the chaos and the rush of the city life. Vacations are meant to be times when you can lay back and be lazy without any niggling concern about life and its ways. Vacations at beaches are meant to be the rare occassions when you can gaze at the beauty of the setting sun which has inspired many a poets and painters, listen to the waves advance and retreat endlessly and relish good sea food. Gokarna was a vacation in the truest sense.

There is something in the air that inspires one to be lazy. You do not have to walk far from your cottage to get go to the beach as the hotel is right there..on the beach! Once you order your food, you can sit back and have a conversation with your friends as the food would surely take its own time to arrive. Even the waiters and cooks seem to be laid back!

Its a place where you can do nothing and still don’t feel like you have not done anything. Nice beaches, elaborate meals, easily available joints (for the eager few) and a potential trekking adventure (for the eagerly few, again) – Gokarna has it all.

We had stayed at the Namaste Cafe on the Om beach. Situated atop a small hill on the beach itself, the cafe has small cottages for accomodation. You can climb down the fligh of stairs to reach the restaurant overlooking the beach. Next day we trekked from the Om beach to the adjacent Paradise beach and moved on to Half Moon beach on foot itself. Though Paradise and Half Moon do not have anything special to be written down, the food at the cafes here is just awesome just like any other cafe on any other beach in Gokarna. From Half Moon, we took a boat to Kudlee which is as good as the Om beach. One may also do some shopping from the small shops (one each on Om and Kudlee ) here. I may also add that the shop owner on the Kudlee beach does provide some fantastic bargains.

The food available in the cafes is just awesome. One look at the huge menu in all the cafes irrespective of their sizes and one is forced to think that not all mentioned would be available. But to our surprise, it was – Italian, Chinese, Israeli, Continental and Indian.  Except for Chinese, all other dishes were a good value for money especially Continental (Roast chicken and Grilled chicken deserve a special mention) and sea food was exceptional. Surprisingly enough, there was no South Indian dish on the menu! Strange are the ways of Gokarna.

Far away from the madding crowd, this was a very welcome and indeed a refreshing break